


The Random Shit of Sejiou

by Typhemoonrise



Series: The Random Shit of Our Favorite Volleyball Players [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Abuse, Depression, Homophobia, Humor, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, The title pretty much covers it, idioms, more to come - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2018-10-16 15:01:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10573713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Typhemoonrise/pseuds/Typhemoonrise
Summary: Again, the title pretty much covers it.





	1. Needle in a Haystack

Yahaba looks up from his color-coded notes to Kyoutani's loud growl of frustration. By a quick scan of the clubroom, it looks like everyone else had too. 

 

"What's the matter Kyoutani?" Iwaizumi said, looking back down at whatever he was doing, finally managing to peel a now distracted Oikawa off of him. Oikawa sits back with a huff.

 

"You know that stupid fucking idiom, 'it's like trying to find a needle in a haystack'?" Kyoutani scowls. 

 

"Yeah," Hanamaki grunts, continuing to try and steal some of the pocky from Matsukawa's box, almost tumbling over him in every effort to reach it. 

 

"Well my Japanese teacher gave me an extra credit project because I'm not doing so hot and I begged for a way to get my grade up, and now I have to make a story surrounding that  _stupid idiom and I want to murder_! And how the hell do you do that anyway?" Kyoutani rages, throwing his pencil at a nearby wall.

 

"Magnet?" Oikawa suggests, trying to climb into Iwaizumi's lap, but to no avail.

 

"That only works with Iron. Some needles aren't Iron," Matsukawa points out, shoving pocky in his mouth while simultaneously fending off Hanamaki.

 

"Sift it?" Kindaichi offers, flipping through his sports magazine. 

 

"But wouldn't the needle be smaller than the hay?" Kunimi asks rhetorically, shifting his position draped over Kindaichi's back so he can see the magazine better.

 

"Burn it," Yahaba says, after a moments frustrated silence. 

 

"What?" Kyoutani blinks at him.

 

"Burn the fucker. Haze it to the ground. It will shine amongst the ashes of the dead," Yahaba says, gesturing vaguely in Kyoutani's direction. Everyone stares at him for a moment.

 

"Geeze remind me not to get on this guy's bad side," Iwaizumi whistles. Kyoutani still hasn't said anything, and Yahaba is quietly berating himself for having said anything at all.

 

"Marry me," Kyoutani blurts out suddenly. 

 

"When's the wedding?" Yahaba blinks, not missing a beat. Kyoutani sputters, as he obviously didn't mean to say it out loud, and Yahaba did  _not_ mean to sass back, it was an automatic reaction, dammit, let him live! Kyoutani's cheeks are red, and Yahaba can feel heat creeping up his face as well. Everyone is snickering, including Oikawa damn him, he thought they were closer than that! Kyoutani shoves all of his study materials inside his bag and stalks towards the door, and Yahaba can't help but call after him with a snarky

 

"I want a nice honeymoon!" And by now everyone is shaking with laughter, tears rushing down their faces.

 

Well, fuck.


	2. He Smiles Like He Wants to Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He breathes in and grabs the railing, hoisting himself up and raising his arms to the sky. He hears Hajime shout behind him, probably because of how stupid and dangerous he's being, probably, but he can't afford to think about that right now. He tilts his head back just before the salt can reach his lips and just stands there. 
> 
> Dancing with death.
> 
> On the brink of everything. 
> 
> Of his own life.
> 
> All he would have to do is step forward, and everything would be gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter is gifted to RussianSunflower3 -one of my fav authors ever for Sejiou fics- and I went to look on their bookmarks and guess what? This was seriously on there. BOOKMARKED! So now I'm absolutely OBLIGATED to write another chapter just for you! Also! Warning! I'm going to update my tags, but I'm adding a more serious chapter. This AU isn't unrelated, but there is no chronological order or sense of things. It is truly the random shit of Sejiou, be warned. (Hints of abuse, homophobia, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Please, dear readers, don't read it if it will trigger you. Your safety and health is far more important than anything.)

"You know, lately I've been worried about you. You've been acting weird." Hajime shoves his shirt in his locker without looking over at Tooru. It's after school, and the others have gone home hours ago. Tooru looks over at him quizzically, mid pulling off his practice shorts. 

"What do you mean?" Tooru tries to play it off cool, settling on the bench after taking his restricting clothing all the way off. He tries not to glance at his bestfriend out of the corner of his eye, getting a look full of taunt, caramel skin and sculpted muscles. Read: _tries_. 

"I don't know," Hajime turns to look at him finally, giving him a rather amused look at his lazy state of undress before pulling on his uniform shirt," But I'm going to figure it out." Tooru doesn't allow the emotions surging through him to shine through on his face, managing to keep it blissfully blank and in check; he has to swallow down the bile and the panic and the  _sad_ that threaten to emerge from the dark place he goes to only after everyone goes away and he can cry to himself in the dark. 

"I'm sure it's just your imagination, Iwa-chan!" Tooru chirps, but even he knows it's not as good as his usual mask. And definitely not good enough to fool his Iwa. 

"Tooru, are you sure-" his brow his knitting in concern, and his shirt is rumpled, and his tie is hanging off undone around his neck and he's rolled the sleeves up to his elbows and he's gorgeous-

"I'm fine Hajime," Tooru gets up to finally start dressing, suddenly ready to go home, even if his mother is sure to be awake and ready to scream more homophobic slurs at him," I don't want to talk." His voice is purposely knife-sharp, and he makes it very clear he doesn't want to continue the train of discussion. 

"Fine," Hajime mutters, grabbing his bag and slamming his locker shut," Be that way. I'll be outside." Tooru really wishes he wouldn't. He could be so kind and thoughtful and considerate during the times the brunette really needed it, as if Hajime had a second sense telling him that the setter needed some extra attention or something. It only made things harder. He drags on the rest of his clothes and slams his own locker shut. 

Tooru really wishes he could stop loving him. 

 

 

The subject has been dropped as they walk their way home, and Tooru settles back into their usual routine with ease. Hajime is walking next to him, shielding him from the road, and they stopped at the bridge for a moment to watch the sunset that Tooru eagerly points out, craving something beautiful that isn't Hajime for once. Tooru leans on the banister as the conversation lulls into one of their usual silences. It's easy, it's comfortable. It's Hajime. It's Tooru. It's them. He settles into a smile he knows isn't one of his usuals, but that's okay. He doesn't have the strength to hide away at the moment. 

"You know," Hajime sighs, also leaning onto the rail but turning to look at Tooru instead of the sunset," I think I've figured it out." Tooru doesn't so much as glance at him, instead exhaling tiredly. He's so tired. He hums to give the love of his life a response so that Hajime knows he's listening. 

"Lately, you always smile like you're about to cry," he finishes, and Tooru blinks. Then blinks. Then blinks some more. And all at once, he's blinking away tears. He breathes in and grabs the railing, hoisting himself up and raising his arms to the sky. He hears Hajime shout behind him, probably because of how stupid and dangerous he's being, probably, but he can't afford to think about that right now. He tilts his head back just before the salt can reach his lips and just stands there. 

Dancing with death.

On the brink of everything. 

Of his own life.

All he would have to do is step forward, and everything would be gone. The screams, the whispers. The pain, the hurting. The emptiness, the sad. The hate, the loneliness. Hajime.  _Hajime._ Carefully, he turns to look down at the raven, who's very clearly panicking, stuck between wanting to grab him and being afraid that he's going to make him accidentally topple off the edge. The laughter, the smiles. The affection, the comfort. The happiness, the contentment. The love, the companionship. 

"You're the reason I'm still alive," Tooru realizes, and he knows he's said it out loud, because Hajime is frozen now, but he doesn't want to stop; if he stops the words will never move past his throat. 

"You're the reason I wake up in the morning, you're the reason I lie awake at night, you're the reason why I endure all my pain even when I just want to die, you're the reason why I eat, why I breathe, you're my everything." Tooru looks into Hajime's eyes as if this is new to him, and he supposes in a way it is, because he's never said it out loud before, and the whole situation is dreadfully fragile and he knows that, but still he must speak. 

"I love you," Tooru whispers it, jumping down from the railing and taking fistfuls of his hair into his hands and crouching," I love you." Everything is spinning, and Hajime still hasn't said anything, and  _oh,_ he's crying, but it's okay, Hajime won't hate him even when he rejects him, because they're Hajime-and-Tooru, and they'll never be apart, no matter what they say. No matter what his mother says. He believes in Hajime. 

He won't leave him alone. 

"Tooru," Hajime whispers, and Tooru tilts his head up slightly, and  _oh my_ , there's Hajime, right in front of him, mirroring his position. 

"I love you too," Hajime reaches out to touch Tooru's cheek as Tooru's whole world shifts," And I will  _never_ let you go. I won't give up, I won't lose. Not even to you." Tooru's face crumples in relief even as he laughs, because  _it's such a Hajime thing to say_. Hajime pulls him forward and embraces him, and it's the worst, most awkward hug he's ever received but it's the best thing he's ever experienced because it's the person he holds closest to his heart. Tooru grips onto Hajime's blazer for dear life, because he  _is_ his lifeline, his Raison-d'etre, his reason for being. Hajime leans back slightly to rest their foreheads together, and Tooru sighs into the contact, touch-starved after so long of separation and abuse. 

" _You_ are  _my_ everything," Hajime murmurs, and Tooru knows, at least at that moment, everything is okay; Hajime is close to him, and their hearts are beating in tandem. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope ya like it! Especially you RussianSunflower3! Please leave kudos and a comment!


End file.
